Thursday 8 June 2017

Big Brother UK 2017: Intelligence centre malfunction

Hiya! So I heard rumours there was an eviction tonight but as lines not even open, I'm filing that under FAKE NEWS. Jesus, who are we going to lose tomorrow. It's going to be one of only one person I like, isn't it?
Actually I do like more than one person, but barely. Looks like Sukhvinder is earning her stipend tonight. Yes! Give us the rows and the entertainment.
Please stop showing Ellie fawning over this thick twat Lotan. I can't bear how down on herself she is, it's depressing, plus it's soulless. Did she just say she wouldn't mind being his bum chum? I'm not rewinding it to find out.
Arthur flashing his bits in the shower in front of the WHOLE house, exhibitionist or what! Mind you, he is on Big Brother. I think Joe and Lotan are threatened. Arthur must have a big one. Ah, he has got a big one! That's why he's flapping it around. I like 'I didn't know we were having sausage sandwiches this morning.'
Tom thinks Arthur is entertaining. I agree! Shame Tom isn't.
Sukhvinder is SPOILING for a fight. I love it. Calling Rebecca out on not employing women wearing make up. Well, she is employing honey trappers - they do need to look attractive I guess. Most women DO wear mean up on a night out. I'm sure Keiran wears make up, too.
Rebecca: 'Wearing make up is part insecurity, part professionalism.' For me it's wholly about sexiness or standing out.
I can kind of see both sides, it IS discrimination because men don't have to do it, but there's more important things to worry about, in my opinion, if we're going to talk about discrimination or sexism.
Kayleigh: 'What does discrimination mean?' Um, I dunno, what does 'pig ignorant' mean? Oh, it mean 'Love Island rejects.' Rebecca: 'It's like racism.' Uh oh! I don't think she meant it like that, I think she just used it as an example OF discrimination, but she didn't quite articulate that.
I don't care personally about make up or not, if people wear it or not. My friend worked in a casino and she had to wear make up and nail varnish, but it was the Playboy club, so you know, if you're working in places like that, no shit they want you to spruce up. Is it sexist? Yes. But Joe would be OK with the policy, ha.
I do like Sukhvinder starting a row for no reason. That's what I want in a housemate. She is ready to GO. Some days you just feel like that, you're just waiting for someone to look at you sideways and then you're like 'Right!!!!!'
I'm going to stop commenting on the Ellie/Lotan non-story. It bores me rigid.
Rebecca sounds drunk in the DR slagging of Sukhvinder. Where was Imran when Sukhvinder was kicking off?
Oh, she's kicking off again! Woo! I do agree brushing your hair where someone's eating is gross. Why even do it there! I hate Kayleigh, she's thick as fuck. Kayleigh: 'Have you seen the things people do in this kitchen?' Like what, I wanna know. 'Chill the fuck out, you stupid twat.' Nice.
I liked Imran giving his wife a bit of kitchen roll to dry her tears. I loved it when he said, 'We'll take that bitch out later on' and laughed. Noms talk! That's the thing with these couples being two housemates. How do you stop a married couple colluding under the covers? I said colluding, not canoodling!
Imran to Sukhvinder: 'You can stick up for yourself.' Affirmative! People are going 'oh he's henpecked' etc but he clearly adores her, so mind your business. Some guys like fiesty, mouthy women. Personally, I'd like to meet one!
What is Kayleigh wearing? She has boob laces, but they're too high for her boobs.
Kayleigh moaning cos Sukhvinder is wearing high heels and hot pants and 'what impression does that give to girls?' Er, none whatsoever. I like Sukhvinder's cardigan that looks like an old blanket. Ooh, she's talking to herself in the mirror. 'Stay me.' I think she's having an identity crisis in the house. Big Brother brain kicked in early this year.
Oh no, a task where Tom has to read off a card. We're fucked.
Something to do with Lotan, whatever. Rebecca took a punishment so Keiran didn't get one. Hold on, if the punishment was 'give up all of your make up' how was that a punishment for Keiran?
Raph has to open a box. Joe: 'You've won a ticket back to New York!' Lol.
Raph didn't open the box cos he's a true gamer. It's his dream to be in BB, not to be a ssssssnake. I wonder how much was in it!
I'm starting to think Sukhvinder is a bit mental. I kind of love it, though.
I like the sister's impressions. I missed which sister it was and I can't rewind cos I'm already behind. Don't hate me. I like both sisters so far!
I like Sukhvinder's foil jacket, looks cool. But she's still going on about the fucking make up. Stop.
Arthur has to eat brussel sprouts cos he hates them. Yeah, I'd say I hate chocolate if I went in Big Brother. Doesn't take a Raph strategy to plan that one ahead.
So now I have to watch some old shit I already saw on BBBOTS last night! Why! The intelligence centre. The outside contact machine more like. I was literally agog at how much info he got on BOTS, imagine if someone with a brain got it. You could sew up the whole game! Tom is too stupid to take instruction, but he's also too stupid to think of his own ideas, so who knows what he'll do now. It's like seeing an angry dog get spun around on a chair and working out who it will bite first.
Tom now has to save one person from citizenship. He's 'been advised' not to give it to Rebecca.
Tom is pulling out the 110% crap with Raph. He's not fit to speak to Raph, in my opinion.
Tom thinks Sukhvinder will 'be fine' on Friday. I'm not so sure.
Tom gave boring Charlotte citizenship. Does she even have a sex tape? Tom wants to see her 'become a wild child and jump in the hot tub naked.' Not gonna happen.
Oh fuck, Sukhvinder is going to go. A woman, non white and with quite a forceful opinion. 100% gone. I think I've decided... Hannah is the cool sister.
Tom exiled Imran! Uh oh. And Arthur! Oh God, this is awful. Why can't we evict Joe or Kayleigh! Urgh!
Yuck, Tom is trying to crack onto Charlotte. Grim! Get your hands off her, creep.
Imran believes in the British public. 'They always make the right decision'. They never get it wrong, do they? Helen Wood, Jim Davidson, Brexit, the Tories again tomorrow... not keeping Adjoa in longer. We can't be trusted to mark down numbers on a FUCKING BINGO CARD. He called Kayleigh a 'fame whore' and said 'she's here to show tits and arse.' True, but that's Big Brother (now).
Mandy telling Tom to BACK OFF in no uncertain terms. I hate 'coming out of shell' talk. Mandy: 'Charlotte doesn't get off on the banter... not going to bounce on chairs. She likes sarcastic, witty humour.' Good luck with that.
Mandy about Tom: 'He's not yet raised a smile out of you...she rolls her eyes.' Haha.
The only thing interesting about Charlotte and her mum is their friendship with Raph.
Ellie and Tom downing wine. I could see them getting off when they've both run out of options, ie. tomorrow.
What is this thing with Chanelle and Hannah? Are they really arguing or not? I can't work it out.
'I would never allow someone to kick me with their shoe.' Relax. 
Chanelle citing the 'on site medic' aka Dr Ottoman after having a flip flop kicked at her chest. It's not exactly the new spitgate is it?
Hannah is rulebooking. 'You don't know how it felt.' Insignificant?
OMG IT'S VOTE TO SAVE! FINALLY. We lost TOO MANY classic characters over the years with stupid vote to evict, propping up deadwood all the way to the final. WHY have they not done this years before! This gives me hope. If you listen to BB on Blast, please vote to save Raph! And don't give me none of that Trump bullshit, you know he was storylining so relax yourself. Cheers.

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